Tuesday, October 28, 2008

On being tolerant

It is 1:02 AM. I am staying up in an attempt to get some of the work I would otherwise have to do tomorrow, like writing a paper and applying for internships, and of course watching Conan O'Brien.

I finished my State Department application, but on the last page it has two options, "Activate Resume" and "Save for Later." Well, I'm done, I'm finished and I have hit "Activate Resume" about twenty times. Nothing has happened. I feel like it should take me to another page, but it doesn't, it just keeps refreshing. I'm not freaking out - I am frustrated. And since my dad works for the State Department I thought I'd give him a call to see if he knew what was up, but of course he didn't answer (since when does he go to sleep before one?).

While all of this is happening a bunch of girls from my floor come into the commons room/kitchen/tv room to make dinner? Or is it breakfast at this hour? Whatever, they were loud and cooking frozen meals in the microwave. Really. I mean, isn't it obvious that I'm busy, that I am working on something? Isn't it courteous to be quiet at night? Or at least try to? What the hell! AND THEN! And then, the fat one started to change the channel! WTF! I thought I had claimed my space. She noticed my look of terror and asked if I was watching this and after telling her that I was she proceeded to complain about late night comedy - all the while talking loudly to her miniature roommate.

This girl (I should probably know the names of the girls on my floor by now, but I don't, because they are like this) is one of those people that puts items in the microwave for much longer than they need to be microwaved and checks on them every thirty seconds. Do you know how annoying that is? Microwave doors, when combined with loud girls, are increasingly loud. While waiting for her meal, she discussed how healthy pasta is, despite the huge calorie count on the label. I really wanted to explain to her that that was the reason she, and everyone who has gained the "freshman fifteen" are fat, but I didn't, and it was hard. Because she was annoying. And fat. And loud. And obviously clueless. Dude! She didn't even press the "clear/cancel" button when the food was done. Because that is what those people that put food in the microwave much longer than they need to be microwaved do! They don't clear it! And then it beeps! And then it says "Press Start" across the little screen until someone presses clear! AGH!

Anyway, she is gone now. And I am watching Conan in peace.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

on the radio

VCU's radio station is WVCW. It's only online, and at first I was kind of bummed about this, but today I am so glad. With it being online there are fewer people listening, or so I'm guessing. Today is my first day formatting. Basically I'm just sitting in the studio by myself for the first time.

I've only talked once, and I'm pretty sure that I sounded ridiculous. "I hope you enjoy it" - ??? I said that. In reference to a Minus the Bear song.

This is going to take time. I have to do a few more of these and write a proposal before I can have my own show. And since I don't have my own show, I don't really have a whole lot of choice when it comes to what I get to play. It's a computer with iTunes, on shuffle. It's very similar to my dad's iPod being on shuffle in that it may currently be playing Johhny Cash, and will abruptly change to The Irish Tenors, except the radio station has a better selection. I may not like all of it, but most of it is pretty good.

Other perks include free music. Well not to keep, at least not initially. We get CD's from labels and then someone here reviews them and then based on the reviews the "music director" decides what gets added to the infinite iTunes list. After that happens he'll clean out the closet and we'll be allowed to have certain albums. I went through last week and got all the good ones. Tom said that I "should share," but I have no intentions of doing that.

I've only spoken with one other girl on the staff, she's into metal, I also spoke to a girl that was being trained and we had similar tastes, but I don't know if she's stuck it out. But all these boys don't really know what to do with me. Some are attempting to put me in my place. Isn't that cute?

Oh this is going to be fun.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

travelling booze

In Richmond, in addition to the bums, ho-bos and homeless, we have "travellers". These people are typically white-would-be-middle-class-kids, that probably dropped out of school, did a lot of drugs and decided to bum around the country. They have backpacks and smell bad and are generally dirtier than homeless people.

Today I was on my bike (of course) and I was stopped at a corner next to a group of about five travellers. I didn't pay them much attention, but did hear that they were talking about food and beer. I made the mistake of glancing in their direction, and one had the nerve to ask me outright - "Could you spare some change so we can buy beer?"

You read right. He asked. For money. So that he could buy beer. I mean, really? It took me a second to realize what had just happened. I mean I'm used to ignoring homeless people with bottles in paper bags and twitches, but this was something that I would never expect. I mean, you can typically assume that they would spend your money on booze or drugs, but they would ask for money to "buy food."

At the same time, though, I admire the honesty. I mean, I don't know why anyone would give anyone who was homeless money for booze, but he didn't beat around the bush, and he didn't get my money. I'm not encouraging lying, but maybe creativity?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

if i have to

Penny's is my favorite part of Richmond. That, and my bike. Isn't that sad?

Today I went with a couple of other guys from the radio station to Bagel Czar. It used to be a venue called Nancy Raygun, and they're trying to maintain it as a venue. WVCW, the radio station, is working with them to book some gigs and promote it as much as possible. And after talking with Landis, the guy in charge of booking at Bagel Czar, I got to thinking about how perfect it would be if I could do that all the time. I could be an agent, manager, publicist, whatever, I think I might be alright at it. But then again, I don't know if I'd really fit into that world.

I'm not really sure if writer's are supposed to fit into any sort of world. I've been think about that a lot lately. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Salinger is a recluse. He could be dead, and we probably wouldn't know about it for a year. He has an estranged daughter, I hope if I have children that that won't happen. I will live in the city and when I die my neighbors will at least complain about the smell. And hopefully my kids will like me, even if they think I'm a kook.

But really, I know writers, and I guess they have friends, but if they're at all serious about they're craft they don't keep hours that allow them to socialize the way other people do. We don't sleep when we write, and sometimes passion overtakes us and hours go by and it's dawn. Writers like that are hard to find. And they're even harder to know.

I think being lonely is an important part of writing. It feeds any feelings you might have, and it allows for little distraction. If I end up a spinster I think I'll be okay, so long as it's in a city and I can write about my lonely life and all the grownup boys that may have been part of it.

Or, I could just give up on all the writin bullshit and be equally troubled pretending that I don't know what I'm meant to do with my life. Unfortunately that's not an option. I have to write, and I'm going to be poor, and I'll probably always feel lonely, but I suppose it's better than feeling nothing at all.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

stupid sleeves

Last night I was looking at pictures that one of my old roommates from mormon-camp (EFY) had posted. They were of her sister's wedding.

My current roommate, Jessica, was also raised in the Mormon Church, and we both hate typical Mormon fashion. In the pictures were dresses that looked just how they always look, boring. They all had the exact same shape, despite different body types, and the same horrible sleeves* and of course dreadful neckline.

If you h
ave ever been to any sort of formal event where you are surrounded mostly by mormons you will notice that they are all dressed in a very similar way. I mean, guys are typically required to wear a suit of some kind for a formal situation, and girls, a dress. But dresses typically have more personality, I'm not saying that they can't be modest, I just don't understand why they all have to use the exact same pattern.

Looking at these you will see what I'm talking about. I mean really, couldn't they at least make some with long sleeves? or three-quarter length (though, one would have to be very careful with those because they are very easy to screw up in formal wear). **

I'm not even going to get into prom dresses, except the colors are horrible.

*Sleeves are required to cover the shoulders at all times. That's fine, whatever. But when I see girls wearing a shirt under a sundress, I really wonder why they didn't choose the cuter option of wearing a cardigan. Not to mention that capped sleeves really get old after awhile, and because of the way they are situated on any garment they usually aren't flattering because most people don't have toned upper-arms.

**As Ben pointed out that site does. But you will notice that their version of long sleeves is very similar to that of a wizard, and are overall hideous. My point in that specific link was to point out how similar all of the dresses are. Of course someone could argue that all wedding dresses look similar because they are formal and white, but these just don't have any personality.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

skinny-fat people

You all know that I hate fat people, and I know I probably shouldn't, but I do.

I just had dinner for the first time at the dining hall on the Monroe Park campus. I've eaten there before, but always for lunch. Dinner is incredibly different, and by different I mean that's when everyone comes out of hiding and gorges themselves on tasteless mush. This would be fine, but tonight I've discovered (not really, but noticed more than usual) skinny-fat people. These are usually girls that are very small, but when you get closer you realized that they lack any sort of tone on their body. That is to say, they lack muscle. And despite their small size many have bellies, like pot-bellies, and muffin tops; though the muffin tops are typically covered by a cardigan.

I've decided I'm not going to stand for it anymore. No more will these tiny people be allowed to get away with being fat by being disguised in a small package.

In all seriousness though, I wish that people would realize that despite the size zero on their jeans that it is still possible to be unhealthy. And not in an anorexic/bulimic way, but in the "I'm naturally skinny, why do I need to exercise" type of way. I mean regular fat people suck, but tiny-fat people suck even more.

Some may say that I'm simply jealous - they obviously do not know how vain I am. I simply find it annoying that people don't think they need to take care of their bodies because of their small body.

Monday, October 6, 2008

modern masochist

Today I have eaten two pieces of toast with butter and strawberry jam, about twenty gummy bears (the green ones, I'm eating my least favorite first, you know, saving the best for last) and one kinder egg. My stomach is probably hungry but at this point I feel like I would throw up anything I consume.

I have a headache, and have tried napping. It didn't work, so I watched last weeks episode of Gossip Girl, too many SNL sketches and wrote some shitty poetry with my new Cerruti pen. It works quite well, and has a two year warranty. I hope I don't lose it. I always lose things that I really like. I'm usually a ball-point bic type of chick, but I think I might be changing.

In addition to all of this BYT has posted "The Big Empty" as their (Vintage) Video of the Day. It is a very depressing short film that really has sent my lethargy for the day over the edge. I like it though, I like sad things. I hope no one ever discovers an artic landscape in my vagina and then dies in it. I can imagine that would be really awful. I like not being empty.

I'm also rediscovering writing. I mean I write almost every day, usually I don't think it's very good, and the past few weeks I've felt like it's just gotten worse. But maybe it's getting better and I'm becoming more critical of my own work. That's not so bad, I guess. And I have a great new pen, and even if my computer doesn't always like to play music, it still let's me write, usually without interruption.

And in addition to all of this the sweater weather that I usually enjoy this time of year is getting me down. My fore-arms and shins have been achey for about a week now, and I'm almost positive that it's the change in weather.

I've been listening to Frightened Rabbit too much, that's probably detrimental to my emotional well being. But here are the lyrics to the song that I cannot get out of my head (well this one more than the others, but they all sound about like this).

The Modern Leper

A cripple walks amongst you all you tired human beings

He's got all the things a cripple has not working arms and legs
And vital parts fall from his system and dissolve in Scottish rain
Vitally he doesn't miss them he's too fucked up to care
Well is that you in front of me?
Coming back for even more of exactly the same
You must be a masochist to love a modern leper on his last leg
On his last leg
Well I crippled your heart a hundred times
And still can't work out why
You see I've got this disease I can't shake
And I'm just rattling through life
Well this is how we do things now
Yeah this is how the modern stay scared
So I cut out all the good stuff
Yeah I cut off my foot to spite my leg
Well is that you in front of me?
Coming back for even more of exactly the same
You must be a masochist to love a modern leper on his last leg
Well I am ill
But I'm not dead
And I don't know which of those I prefer
Because that limb which I have lost
Well it was the only thing holding me up
Holding me up
Well I'm lying on the ground now
Walking through the only door
Well I have lost my eye sight
Like I said I would
But I still know
And that is you in front of me
And you are back for even more of exactly the same
Well are you a masochist to love a modern leper on his last leg
And you are not ill
And I'm not dead
Doesn't that make us the perfect pair
Just you and me
We'll start again
And you can tell me all about what you did today
What you did today