Going Home

I have moved...back in with my parents...

That is how much I wanted to get out of Richmond. That, and I'm planning on moving to San Francisco to finish school, and because it's awesome. Have you ever met someone from San Francisco  who you didn't like? I haven't. No one ever says, "Ugh, San Francisco, I never want to go back there."It's not Mississippi. 

It's certainly been a transition, one that I've been avoiding by not being home as much as possible. I moved Halloween weekend, in the sleet, with a migraine, so it more terrible than moving usually is -- never mind all the little things, the miscommunications, the lack of communication. It got done, and we all sat down for beef stew my mother made for everyone else because I don't eat beef, she had prepared the freezer and packed it with vegetarian lasagna.

The next 48 hours were spent mostly moping and reconsidering all of my life choices. 

Fortunately I had made plans to be in San Francisco the first week of November, my birthday is the 3rd and I really needed to be relax. Though my idea of relaxing usually just means avoiding people I don't want to talk to and keeping myself busy elsewhere, which is exactly what I did.

I'd arranged to meet with the admissions advisor at the school I will hopefully be attending, and let the few people I know there know I would be in town, but mostly I just wanted to explore. I had visited in the Spring of last year as well and I wanted to do the things I didn't get to do last time on this trip.

Anton, Karin, Me and Timon after lunch in Golden Gate Park.

After a very long and unnerving taxi ride into the city with a dead cell phone and a cabbie who didn't know how to use his GPS or speak English, I finally got to my hostel, cried, and fell asleep. The morning was much happier and after meeting a couple of my roommates and a couple of dudes at breakfast, four of us decided to rent bikes and make our way across the Golden Gate Bridge. I had not packed anything for this type of activity, and biking 22 miles in skinny black cotton pants was not my favorite thing, but it was well worth while. Now, the city is famously seven miles by seven miles, we had figured we had gone maybe 15 miles, and then we pulled up Google Maps and marked the multiple circles we had made on accident.

I had set up an appointment with the Admissions Advisor (AA) for the next morning and managed to find it without getting lost and made decent time walking. AA and I talked for almost two hours. TWO HOURS. I like to think that this is a good thing, though perhaps I totally blew it. She invited me to sit in on a class the next day, so I'm guessing I didn't blow it. The class was small maybe ten students, and everyone was actively engaged and supportive in offering constructive criticism of each others' work. I fell in love, as I knew I would, with everything -- the students, the teachers, the smallness of it all within such a large city -- it was perfect. The community created there was shat I should have looked for when applying to schools four years ago. If only I had been somewhere, or been exposed to anything. My parents wanted me close, and I have found close to be a miserable place. 

It was my birthday and I had spent most of it wandering around Chinatown after the class. I don't particularly like Chinatown, most of the things there creep me out, but some of the things are also entertaining. My favorite was definitely the "erotic art" that had been etched into various surfaces and shapes and molded into what I can only guess were bookmarks and paperweights. Though, I am no scholar of erotic artwork, so I'm probably wrong. However, shop keepers do not enjoy loiterers snapping photos of their wares to tweet. Erotic art is serious business. 

That evening I had dinner by myself at a tiny, dirty burger place that offered veggie options (I may not eat meat, but I eat veggie burgers all the time) before heading to The Mission to meet my one friend that was in town. He was out with two of his coworkers, and between the three of them my glass didn't get empty. We ended up hopping around until we went to a particularly terrible bar that was having some sort of electronic dance night, I think, I'm not completely sure, BUT there was dancing and I got to dance and my friend is an excellent dancer, and I could not have asked for a better birthday. (Thanks, guys!)

My last day was spent between bed and getting lost on the Embarcadero followed by wandering around downtown in a haze in an effort to make myself do anything aside from sleep.

The idea that I will be living there is one that I still haven't quite wrapped my head around. It's beautiful, and the urgency and support shared by everyone there is unlike anywhere I've been. I keep waking up and missing my studio in Richmond, and then I remind myself that I gave it up because I want so much more, and I'm going to have it, soon(ish).

Birthday Prep

Shit. It's been weeks since I've posted anything. Though, if you've followed my tweets you'll see that I have been busy bitching as usual about life's injustices, or my first-world inconveniences via my new Android. It is my new favorite thing. I've become one of those terrible people that are constantly playing with it. AND THE APPS. Let's talk about Tetris. I love that game. It's probably the only video game that I have ever been any good at, and I played it the other day until my battery died. It's been a week, and I use that phone literally all the time. What's the weather like? What time does the show start? What's the latest on NPR? It's all there. All the time. Literally at my fingertips. I know this isn't something new for most people that have any clue about technology, but I am so technologically inept that this thing continues to blow my mind.

Aside from my new toy, my life has gone like this: work/school, nap, work/school, food, internet/hulu, food, work/school, show, food, sleep, work/school, food, nap, etc.

There was a minor freakout a couple weeks ago, but those happen regularly as a result of my talking myself into thinking crazy things and then acting on those crazy though and it usually results in a really long email and/or series of phone calls. All is better now. Except for waking up in the middle of the night realizing that I had been talking in my sleep and may or may have not said silly/incriminating things. If I had been told that this sort of thing would happen while I was growing up instead of all those other silly things about not touching the opposite sex, I would be a very different person. But no one has told me about my sleep talking in years, so I haven't thought much about it. My first roommate used to try and tell me things that she had heard, but none of it really made sense. Thankfully I don't sleep walk. I can only imagine what world of trouble that would get me into.

Moving on to more important matters. My birthday is in exactly a month, November 3rd. I will finally be 21 and it will finally be legal for me drink adult beverages in public places. No good will come of this. In fact, I'm certain that it will only lead to more embarrassing tweets and text messages and probably at some point tears, and probably public nudity. So, friends, please be kind. Those that know me well already know all of these things about me and should not be at all surprised when I call them at three a.m. spouting off all the things I know about angler fish, or showing up on their porch with baked goods and an apology for my drunkenness. So, really, nothing is going to change, except now when I get IDed, I won't have to come up with an explanation as to why I don't have my ID. I have gotten really good at this, and the majority of my friends are of age/old(er) and this usually helps my case when I explain to the bouncer that my car got towed and I got pulled over last night and my license was left on the seat with the ticket and registration... I have learned to just avoid female bouncers/bartenders/waitresses because this stuff never works on them.

I make a really big deal about birthdays because no one ever made a big deal about my birthday. This isn't to say that I didn't have birthday parties because I did, every year, but I always planned them, wrote out the invitations and I'm pretty sure I started planning them so far in advance that my parents didn't have a chance to ask me what I wanted to do before I had given them a detailed list of what was supposed to happen. Then when I didn't do this, well, it's never been good. And my friends aren't much better, I love them, but they are all dispersed around the country, and even if they were all in one place, I'm pretty sure none of them know the others well enough to successfully coordinate anything.

And let's be honest, birthday parties are not the most happening of events. They just aren't. So, I've decided to keep it really small this year and only the people that I know would gladly hold my hair back as I puke all over the bathroom at Bamboo will be there (Anthea, Eleana, I'm looking at you). And while I don't really expect presents, I have compiled this list of things to plant seed into the subconscious of my friends and family, except my family doesn't read my blog most of the time, so I'll be emailing them this list repeatedly through December in hopes that maybe they'll get it right at Christmas.

My new phone is my early birthday present from my parents, and I'm quite surprised that they got it right. It's a Samsung Galaxy S, and I was sure that I would end up with some awful Motorola contraption that they considered good enough.

1. Cake. It's my birthday, I should not have to bake my own birthday cake (though I probably will). My favorite cakes are Pineapple with cream cheese frosting, and banana cakes with peanut butter frosting. Though, pumpkin flavored cake with cream cheese frosting is also delicious, and I know that Carytown Cupcake has these flavored cupcakes, so...

2. Other food. Dinner. Somewhere that's not Mexican of pizza oriented. Somewhere that has seafood is a plus.

3. Card. Inside should be a short, but personal message. Nothing says you don't care like a card that you bought and simply signed.
4. Necklace. I am constantly resisting buying them. I have a necklace that I wear all the time, but it's really because it's sentimental and has a story. It's not just an accessory, it should have some meaning. The one I currently wear was given to me for Christmas several years ago by my brother. He lives in San Sebastian in Spain and the design is that of the fences that go around the beach there. Apparently it's some sort of Basque Nationalist symbol, but I have never been there, so I'm not completely sure. But my point is, he gave it to me, I don't see him often, and it reminds me of him. I should like you well enough that I would be happy to wear a reminder of you. Anyway, I really like this, this and this. (The last one reminds me of the carousel scene in The Catcher in the Rye, and if I had the money I would have bought it for myself by now, but I am poor.) And I don't like gold things.

5. Vinyl. I have not bought nearly as much vinyl as I have wanted in the past year, and there have been so many great things that have come out. A mix CD is also a great alternative, though like the card, it should require some thought.

6. Concert ticket. Sharing a concert with someone is always special if you both really love the band.

7. Clothing. I will probably take it back. So gift card is probably better, but if you know my taste well enough and think I dress well, then give it a go. If you are my mother, you should be aware of my taste, but because you don't like it, please refrain from buying me clothes forever and always.

8. Hats. But not a baseball cap or a beanie, I like and collect vintage hats. Sure, I don't wear them often enough, but I love them. And on crappy days they're a pick-me-up, kind of like wearing my favorite heels with my pajamas because I can.

9. BOOZE. Buying me a drink is appreciated, but if you really love me you'll buy me a bottle of Jameson, or Maker's Mark, or maybe some expensive vodka that I've never had. Or Amaretto. Or Gin. Please do not buy me anything sweet tea related, I am over it, it only leads to terribleterrible things (like all the scars on my body from tubing).

This is a really reasonable list. I mean, I didn't even list shoes, or furniture, or trips, or shoes...