Not Keeping My Opinions to Myself

I knew that as soon as I posted this that someone would take it the wrong way. Though, my thinking this didn't keep me from posting it. That's what's great about a blog, I don't feel the need to use a filter. I can write about anything, but I try to be respectful of my friends and family as not to reveal anything that they wouldn't want me to, Christina I'm looking at you and please note that I still haven't posted a certain conversation from when we were fourteen and had a very skewed idea of everything. (Bwahahahahaha...I bet you're wishing right about now that we had never written all that down.)

I woke up this morning to an email from my mother that read, and yes I know what I wrote above, but this was just too ridiculous: My friend said she read your blog and she had no idea that you hated her because she was fat. Her feelings were hurt that you wrote those things. I didn't realize that I had singled any one person out. The idea that this person took my blog post so personally is upsetting, it's upsetting that there are people that I don't know who allow blogs written by some girl to offend them. And beside, if I "hate" someone, I'm not going to write a passive-aggressive blog post about it, I believe in confrontation, and the next time that person did something to slight me I would most likely confront them about it.

Anyway, I responded to this email, and I hope that this clears some things up: I don't know which friend you're talking about, but I'm sure I don't hate her. I am just generally annoyed by obese people. Most obesity is not hereditary and is nurture, not nature. Americans are not overweight because it's in our genes, it's because we live in a world of convenience and people don't take time to take care of their bodies. And then when I hear these larger people that don't take care of their bodies in the first place complain about how difficult it is to do things, I have no sympathy. They've made unhealthy choices and are obviously not motivated to make the necessary changes in their lives. It is absurd how large the average person has become in this country.
If Americans as a whole were to change their attitude towards food and eat healthier, exercise more - they would be healthier, fitter, and probably a helluva lot happier. I am in no way advocating that everyone should have a 26 inch waist, just that people should be conscious of what is and isn't healthy and work at keeping their body feeling good. I understand that some people struggle with weight their entire lives while others go years without taking care of their bodies and have it catch up with them later.

I had a roommate who used to always be on diet, but never ate well or exercised. Somehow people have still not figured out that "diets" don't work, but they're probably easier than learning portion control and learning how to make healthy things and take a walk every now and again. People don't educate themselves about food, about sex, about most things and would rather watch Good Morning America and learn about "superfoods" than get the facts. If you're interested you might want to read this, and this, and kudos to you if you're not bothered by it. I'm not prejudice against overweight people, I'm annoyed by lazy people who complain about things that are well within their power to change.

On Being Christlike

My sister April and I are very similar in a lot of ways and quite opposite in others (politics, for example). Last night she came over and while we were downloading CD's to my computer to put on her ipod because her computer's disc drive is broken, we were Facebook stalking people(that we totally don't make fun of). YOU KNOW YOU DO IT TOO.

We are totally going to hell.

Anyway, upon seeing one picture:

(Someone thought that they were being creative. They thought wrong.)

Me: Do you see that?
April: The window treatment?
Me: Yes.
April: It's terrible.
Me: That's what they did at some church activity about living within your means.
April: Yeah, and the other roommates are too busy trying to be Christlike to tell them how bad it is.

We have given up on trying to be Christlike, I mean my sister is a Republican. And Christ was totally a Socialist (Hello bread and fish parable!). I'm a Libertarian, so I'm like halfassing the whole Christlike thing.

I apparently made one of my youth leaders cry after commenting on her dress. Another leader told me about it later. I would feel bad, but she totally dresses better now. Though, I have since learned to be more tactful. I think. I'm probably in denial about that.

I think you're Fat

Today at lunch Garrett and I started talking about this past weekend and the rediculousness that ensued (that was his ex that we ran into). And then of course we talked about Richmond and I gave him yet more reasons as to why it sucks, today it was mostly the overabundance of Fat People.

"Do you hate fat people?" (Isn't Garrett cute?) Of course I hate Fat People. They take up too much space. They are often angry and overall unpleasant.
Now, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Do not confuse Fat People with being overweight. Being overweight describes most people at some point in their lives. I have plenty of friends that are overweight, I am probably a little bit (but losing weight could cause damage, i.e. the loss of my wonderful breasts and ass. You've seen them, they are amazing! I believe that if I were to ever lose them it would be detrimental to society.) but my friends and I aren't fat. Not at all.
Fat people are typically obese, dress horribly (they wear sweatpants from Wal-Mart and oversized t-shirts with some cartoon on them, you know what I'm saying) and are overall painful to be with. The later is the most important. Fat People just do not understand how to get along with other people.

There are some Fat People that dress well, you may even mistake them for an overweight person. Do not let this throw you off. Stay on track. Their fatness will soon manifest itself as soon as they open their mouths. For example, I was at the Ting-Tings show this summer and there were these two fat girls in front of me. They were not dancing, they were not having a good time, they were complaining about all the people (at a sold-out show), they were upset that people were touching them, and the were especially upset when me and Zak (intern) shoved past them to the front. Now, I could go on a rant about how annoying it is when people in front don't dance, but that's another post. These girls tried to tell us that they were there first, blahblahblah... They were dressed well, but were breaking all club-show rules. They suck, right? Exactly! Character flaw.

Well what about those that can't help being overweight? I already explained this by differinciating between Overweight People and Fat People. Now, if you are a fat person and have health issues, well, I just don't have any sympathy. Like people with Diabetes. Man, that sucks, but were they taking care of themselves before they were diagnosed? Did they eat healthy food and excercise? Or did they sit on the couch and eat Doritos while watching Lifetime?
If it's the former then I can sympathize. I certianly don't have bean-pole-body, or a high metabolism. In fact I have a thyroid disorder that's under control, but if I didn't take care of myself I would certainly gain weight, and that could lead to Diabetes and Heart Disese, both of which run in my family.

If it's the later, well then they deserve it. Nothing good comes from Doritos, they just make me bloated. And even less good comes from Lifetime;I swear that channel was developed for overweight women just to turn them into vapid Fat People by encouraging them to relate to depressing stories.

*Mom, I'm talking to you! Watch it, I mean, don't watch Lifetime, I know you do!

Last year Trevor and I agreed that Fat People shouldn't be allowed to wear athletic shorts and sweatshirts.Isn't it ironic that they can be cuaght in athletic gear when they never take part in physical activities? And isn't it a shame that that's one of the few things that fits them?



In other news, my Focused Inquiry teacher wants to meet me before class on Monday to discuss something that will take about twnety minutes. He wouldn't say what. I'm pretty sure that it's going to be about my negative attitude in his class, or the questionaire that we had to fill out at the beginning of the class, on which I encouraged him to stop parting his hair down the middle and to grow some facial hair. He is one of those people that is happy all the time, in a creepy way; like my eighth grade french teacher Mme. Rustan who smiled all the time except for the times she would look down to relax her mouth before continuing what she was saying with a smile. She didn't like me either, expecially when I wrote "busy work" in the heading of my paper where the name of the assignment was supposed to go (it was on a day we had a sub). I had to show my parents and get it signed and she gave the entire class a lecture about busy work and how if you were to use that term you had better have an A - I did not have an A. My FI teacher and I have a similar repoire. This year will be interesting, to say the least. Who knows, maybe we'll be best friends by the end of the year. Probably not, but he will probably say something about how he wants to be my friend on Monday. Oh, dear.

An address to the happenings of late

Dear Burt Reynolds,
These past few months have been a whirlwind of emotions for both of us. Probably you more than me, seeing as everything you're dealing with right now, I was dealing with three years ago.

I recognize that you hate me right now. I also realize how irrational you are being. I have never done anything to intentionally hurt you, you know that - even if right now you won't admit it. You probably think I was leading you on, but that doesn't make sense either because until this past Friday I had not seen you in person for almost a month.

Until this whole thing happened you didn't think I was a manipulative bitch, you thought that I was this really strong person who wanted to help you. I did, at the time, and maybe I got a bit carried away, I think you did too. Somehow I became this person that you wish you'd had all along. But you didn't want to date me, at least not seriously, that was understood from the beginning. You said that you weren't "in love" with me, which was fine because I wasn't ever "in love" with you either. I thought, about two months ago that our relationship may take a romantic turn, but it didn't.

You decided that you were going to move back home, see if you could work from there and come to the city maybe once a month. While you've been going home on the weekends, and I've been working seven days a week, my life continued. Besides that, though, it couldn't have worked out for us. You're too co-dependent and I just would have become your therapist, and that's unhealthy.

Now, you've told me, many times, that you feel completely out of control, that you hate who you are, etc. I've seen a few sides of you, Burt, I've seen the side that you should hate, but I've also seen the side that's so sensitive he can hardly bare it. I know that if we were to sit down and discuss this you would probably cry, and to avoid that you've sent me quite a few mean, even nasty messages. You probably don't want to cry in front of me because you're trying to be strong. But strong people aren't afraid of their emotions, they embrace them and experience them. They don't go to their room and hide while getting high with someone that doesn't have a clues what's going on in their life. Strong people don't hide.

In your efforts to have control of something and perhaps to make you feel a bit better about yourself you emailed me, texted me, and called me, and told me how awful you think I am, that I'm not "allowed" to talk to, hang out with, or pretty much associate with any of your friends. I'm not allowed to message them, and I suppose I should just pretend I don't know them if I see them. I'm not allowed to play softball with your company, and you've made it clear to them your hate for me.

I'm not one to do what other people tell me what to do, you should know that as well as anyone, so I'm not sure what you thought would be different. When I ran into a guy from your office on Friday, we chatted and he invited me out because they needed more girls, I have more experience, etc. I had also been told that you wouldn't be at the game yesterday, but somehow I knew you would, just to make sure I didn't play - and yet, I was still a bit surprised when I saw you yesterday.

You had the audacity to accuse me of stalking you. Wow. If I was interested in stalking you, I'm sure if wouldn't be that difficult, but, wow, no, that wouldn't happen. Don't flatter yourself. But that wasn't it, you told me that I needed help! Good, God! I need help? Burt, you're running in circles around things you wish would die, but you won't let them. I've had a lot of friends that were getting help, but never have I had one that needed it so bad, but wasn't getting it.

I should hate you right now. This is twice you've made a scene. This is twice you've done everything in your power at the time to belittle me and generally hurt me. I don't hate you. I feel sorry for you. I'm not going to try and fix this, this time like I did last time. I still care about you. And I hope for the best in all you do. You have so much potential, but you have a lot to work through before you can use it.

To each of you texts and messages, if I've answered, I've been very nice about it. I've told you that you're a great guy, to which you responded, "I already realize that. You just weren't good enough for me. I guess you realized that and that pretty much explains everything." I may not be good enough for you, but I'm not being juvenile, immature, etc. as you said I was yesterday. I'm upset that your victimizing yourself. I'm not pathetic, you're being petty.

I look forward to the day when you have successful band. Your first single will, without a doubt be a song about a past relationship that went awry. Maybe not about me, but I'll hear it and smile to myself. I hope you do the same when your then wife comes home with my book.

Good luck!

-AP

because Ben thinks I'm mean

Just for the record, I am not a cold-hearted, mean-spirited, person. I do my best to get along with those around me. I may not like certain people, and they will know that I'm not their biggest fan, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to go out of my way to be rude and disrespectful to them. I'm very opinionated, and somewhat confrontational, and have to be in a very sour mood to be blatantly mean to someone.

Now, contrary to popular belief, I like people. I also think people are stupid, ignorant, close-minded, intelligent, open-minded, pretty, ugly, fugly, gross, delightful, engaging, insecure, "too cool", etc. I find people to be all these things. Mostly, people amuse me and sometimes bother me.

When they amuse me I laugh. When they bother me I tell them.

I've made people cry, and then I start crying because they're crying, and I'm so sorry if I've done this to you, but then I usually feel bad and apologize, but really if you're reading this and you think I'm mean, and I didn't apologize to you, well then, I must really hate you. I'm pretty sensitive to people's feelings, and expect people to be sensitive to mine. This is a mistake on my part, because I expect too much from people, especially this.