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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

my light blue housecoat with clouds on it and my "i heart dorks" pants

I'm just going to throw this out there.

Marco and I broke up. He's going to be in Korea for two years instead of one and doesn't know if/and/or/when he'll be able to come to the states to visit. I found out last night via a facebook message. LAME! But understandable considering our schedules as of late.

We both still love and care for each other, but two years is a really long time to be away from someone, and people can change so much in that amount of time.

I didn't cry at first, which is strange for me. I didn't cry until I went to pay my deposit for Old Dominion University and my bank account did not say what it said yesterday morning - I tried to tell myself that I was crying because money is tight, and everything is hard right now, but who was I kidding? Really, Amanda?

I ended up sending some poor soul that works for BB&T a horribly mean message, with multiple F-bombs and empty threats. It was outrageous, and I sent an apology to that automated message robot this morning.

Marco and I typically talk at least every two days, we haven't talked in over a week, I knew that was bad. And then because I use my iPod as an eightball, I've been asking it questions about me and Marco's relationship (when it's on shuffle - Charlanne taught me this game) and it's been mostly negative. One of Marco's close friends and his gal pal of a long time just broke up, all of these are things I've been ignoring. To most people, most normal people, people that don't ask their iPod questions (hey, it said that I was going to Colorado, and it was kind of right, I mean I got accepted, I'm just poor and our country is in a recession, blahblahblah...), these are people who would not have seen this coming, but I did, and chose to ignore it.

Spencer and I had talked before I received said message about this possibility. Then he called me and gave me virtual hugs. Spencer understands my blubbery-red-monster-sobs as English, I'm not sure how, but this is one of the many reasons we are friends.

Spencer: Do you have that pink and purple pillow I gave you?
Me: No, I threw it away because it got gross.
S: Do you have any other pillow you can hug?
Me: Yes.
S: Okay, hug that pillow as hard as you can and pretend it's me, I'll be hugging the wall.

(I'm sorry if this embarrasses you Spencer, but I had to.)
seriously, can any of you think of anything sweeter than that? I didn't think so.

Now, this morning, because I'm still feeling shitty, I decided to make waffles. Waffles always cheer me up, there is no great breakfast food, except for the Swedish pancakes and hot chocolate at Ihop, but I was at home, so I had to settle.

THE WAFFLE IRON WAS BROKEN! MY WAFFLE IRON! THAT AUTUMN GAVE ME FOR CHRISTMAS THREE YEARS AGO! IT NO LONGER WORKS! I HAD TO SETTLE FOR BANANA AND CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES, THEY ARE NOT WAFFLES, YOU CANNOT FILL THEM WHIT SYRUP! THEY DO NOT ABSORB SYRUP THE SAME WAY WAFFLES DO!

I'm not yelling at you, I was just in a state of panic this morning because waffles are just soooooooo good. I cried over this broken waffle iron. I am not well, and I did not and do not plan on going to school today.

Instead, I watched "Instant Beauty Pageant" on the Style Network, The Daily Show, and last night's Conan O'Brian, and now I'm listening/watching "Nine in the afternoon" by Panic at the Disco and writing this. I am pathetic, and making a much bigger deal of all of this than is necessary or healthy.

I wish summer would hurry up and come, I'll be working a ton, all my friends will be home, and everything will be better.

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