When Jessica and I moved into our apartment in May there was a very quiet dude who lived above us with his two tiny dogs. The dogs were also very quiet. And because of all this quiet I was able to sleep during typical sleeping hours.
Then he moved out and a bunch of Asian chicks moved in. They are decidedly not the brightest crayons in the box. I have to complain to them about something weekly. It started with them "building a bookshelf" at midnight. Really. Apparently they missed the memo from suburbia: Be quiet between 9 am and 9 pm. Common courtesy. Learn it. Geez.
Anyway, they were also the cause of the leak in our bathroom. They didn't have a shower curtain going all the way around the inside of their tub. Odd, considering that Jessica bought three from the dollar store (or somewhere) to fit all the way around our tub as soon as we moved in. I had to ask to see their bathroom and asked if they would mind putting a curtain up on all sides of their tub. They obliged and the leak stopped. Huzzah!
But they're still really loud. And they're always having dudes over. Attractive dudes. Attractive, dumb dudes. Anthea and I have decided that all the noise we hear all the time and the explanation for their furniture always being in a different place (because I get to peek in every time they open the door when I ask them to stop doing whatever it was that they were doing) is that they are porn stars filming orgies in their living and dining rooms. Fetish porn. Fetish-tiny-asian-girls-with-cut-white-dudes porn.
Last night I stayed up fairly late. And every time Anthea of myself heard something loud and indistinguishable we would blame it on their "shoot." Well we finally wanted to go to bed, around one (which is late for a Wednesday night) and they were still being really loud. One would have thought that it would have stopped by that point, but I was so wrong. So I went up and knocked. The door opened a little bit, but not enough to see anything. Then someone closed it all the way and I heard scattering of people and whispers, including this gem, "Hide. It's the cops." To which I responded that it was just the girl from downstairs. Eventually some dude who does not live there answered the door and asked what the problem was. I explained that they were being really loud, that I had work in the morning, etc. to which he was apologetic. And they were quieter...for like fifteen minutes. Then the boys - three of them - moved to the stoop in front of my building, but more importantly outside my bedroom window. After my doorbell had been rung TWICE I went out and asked them to be quiet, again. On a fucking Wednesday night. They explained that it was their friend's 21st birthday and that they didn't ring our doorbell. I had to point out that he was LEANING against all of the doorbells! And when I asked why they didn't take their friend out to a bar, you know, as is customary on 21st birthdays (Hey! Everyone! I expect to be drinking for free in Richmond and/or DC for my 21st, and cupcakes should be involved, in return I will bake for all of your birthdays. Wait, I already do that, because I am awesome.). The more attractive of the three told me it was too late to go to a bar because they were closing, he apparently didn't understand that they should have taken her out hours before. What the hell?
So, I'm pretty sure they hate me. And telling myself that they're "filming" is starting to make me feel better. I just really hope I never meet a dude that's really into Asian chicks w/Bros porn.
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