Dear Universe,

I would really appreciate it if you would quit teasing me. I mean, I'm a social person, I put myself out there. I mean, I put out. And I am fully capable of meeting the following type of boy:

Boys in cities other than the one that I live in
Boys in relationships
Boys that travel constantly
Boys that live with their parents
Boys that don't have cars
Boys that don't have jobs
Boys that like boys

But I would like to meet someone with the following:

A car, job and a home not shared with any family members. It's a plus if he lives by himself. One that has a job, but doesn't travel every other week. And a boy that is not at all involved with anyone else. AND LIVES IN RICHMOND. And one that likes girls and only girls - fine if he had that one experience freshman year, but he should have it all out of his system.

I know that seems like an impossible list, but surely there has to be someone like that in this godforsaken city. I mean, really. I didn't even get to physical preferences ( 6'+, not blond hair, and it would be nice if all of my clothing was too small for him). And it would be nice if her were into music, has some athletic ability, and bathes on a regular basis. If he enjoys bourbon, red wine and watching bad tv that would be nice too. I also like dudes who look good in jeans and suits and know when it is appropriate to kiss in public.




But above all, the single-straight-in-Richmond part it the most important. And maybe that bit about kissing. I'm usually against PDA, but I had a poster of "Kissing the War Goodbye" on my wall at my parent's house in high school. And I fell asleep wishing to be that nurse a lot of nights, and it's all so horribly pathetic and romantic, and I have been kissed like that exactly once. I want it to happen again.

Sincerely,

Amanda Jewell Pittman


P.S. If this means I have to stop kissing in general for awhile, I could do that. I need to learn self-control anyway.