Between me and my roommate this morning:
Jessica: "That girl is coming to see the apartment again, really soon..."
Me: "Oh, does that mean I have to put pants on?"
Jessica: "Yeah, I did..."
Me: (putting on yesterday's clothes)
Jessica: "You don't have to put real clothes on."
Me: "I want to look somewhat presentable."
Jessica: "Well I've already met her, so I'm fine." (While wearing her jimjams)
I am going tubing on Sunday. I'm going with my gay friend, Markus. Usually I don't mention people's sexuality, race, etc, but...
Me: "Who else is going?"
Markus: (lists a bunch of people I don't know, but all are male)
Me: "Are any of them attractive, straight and will make out with me and aren't put off by my being significantly younger than them?"
Markus: "Pretty much all of them. I don't hang out with the gays - they annoy me. I don't generally hang out with ugly people. I'm highly judgmental. Can't speak to age requirements, but those kinds of concerns generally fade with beer and lies."
Do you see why we're friends? And to think all it took was a lot of bourbon and crying over our deceased pets.
And all this chatting reminded me of a conversation we had a few weeks ago.
Me: "Do you like bananas?"
Markus: "I'm a gay man, that's a loaded question."
I have yet to make him a banana cake, but maybe I'll do that this weekend.