Wednesday, April 30, 2008

my light blue housecoat with clouds on it and my "i heart dorks" pants

I'm just going to throw this out there.

Marco and I broke up. He's going to be in Korea for two years instead of one and doesn't know if/and/or/when he'll be able to come to the states to visit. I found out last night via a facebook message. LAME! But understandable considering our schedules as of late.

We both still love and care for each other, but two years is a really long time to be away from someone, and people can change so much in that amount of time.

I didn't cry at first, which is strange for me. I didn't cry until I went to pay my deposit for Old Dominion University and my bank account did not say what it said yesterday morning - I tried to tell myself that I was crying because money is tight, and everything is hard right now, but who was I kidding? Really, Amanda?

I ended up sending some poor soul that works for BB&T a horribly mean message, with multiple F-bombs and empty threats. It was outrageous, and I sent an apology to that automated message robot this morning.

Marco and I typically talk at least every two days, we haven't talked in over a week, I knew that was bad. And then because I use my iPod as an eightball, I've been asking it questions about me and Marco's relationship (when it's on shuffle - Charlanne taught me this game) and it's been mostly negative. One of Marco's close friends and his gal pal of a long time just broke up, all of these are things I've been ignoring. To most people, most normal people, people that don't ask their iPod questions (hey, it said that I was going to Colorado, and it was kind of right, I mean I got accepted, I'm just poor and our country is in a recession, blahblahblah...), these are people who would not have seen this coming, but I did, and chose to ignore it.

Spencer and I had talked before I received said message about this possibility. Then he called me and gave me virtual hugs. Spencer understands my blubbery-red-monster-sobs as English, I'm not sure how, but this is one of the many reasons we are friends.

Spencer: Do you have that pink and purple pillow I gave you?
Me: No, I threw it away because it got gross.
S: Do you have any other pillow you can hug?
Me: Yes.
S: Okay, hug that pillow as hard as you can and pretend it's me, I'll be hugging the wall.

(I'm sorry if this embarrasses you Spencer, but I had to.)
seriously, can any of you think of anything sweeter than that? I didn't think so.

Now, this morning, because I'm still feeling shitty, I decided to make waffles. Waffles always cheer me up, there is no great breakfast food, except for the Swedish pancakes and hot chocolate at Ihop, but I was at home, so I had to settle.


I'm not yelling at you, I was just in a state of panic this morning because waffles are just soooooooo good. I cried over this broken waffle iron. I am not well, and I did not and do not plan on going to school today.

Instead, I watched "Instant Beauty Pageant" on the Style Network, The Daily Show, and last night's Conan O'Brian, and now I'm listening/watching "Nine in the afternoon" by Panic at the Disco and writing this. I am pathetic, and making a much bigger deal of all of this than is necessary or healthy.

I wish summer would hurry up and come, I'll be working a ton, all my friends will be home, and everything will be better.

Monday, April 28, 2008

reason #98792 why I hate going to church

I would have posted this on Sunday, but Verizon decided to screw over everyone who has Earthlink, Thanks Verizon!

Setting: couch in the foyer at church, during Sunday School hour - Me, Elizabeth and Scott (mostly ragging on his sister - one of our favorite activites, we know we're going to hell)

Crazy Lady with a Baby with a ridiculous name: Why aren't you in Sunday school?
Us: Why aren't you?
CL: ...because I've got a baby.
Us: so?
CL: You don't...Why do you even come?
Us: (blank stares)
Me: ...because I have to, and it makes my parents happy.
Scott: To set the example for my younger siblings.
CL: Why don't you give it (the church) a chance? Elizabeth this isn't directed at you.
Me and Scott: We have, for eighteen years?
CL: but have you really?
M&S: Yes.
Me: It's different for you, you weren't raised in the church.
CL: So, you're giving up after eighteen years?
M&S: sure.
CL: So, what if God said that he was giving up on you after eighteen years? (her face turns to a sneer and she walks off)

We proceed to talk about how ridiculous that whole thing was. Seriously, Scott and I are really great kids by normal people standards aka, people that are happy their kids aren't doing drugs or getting knocked up, etc.

Scott and I both work two jobs, go to school, and somehow manage to find some downtime - though mine is usually spent in DC. Neither of us are into parties, at least not the typical high school type, we're pretty responsible overall.

It drives me absolutely batty that that woman feels that it is her right, as some "youth leader" to be such a jerk. I love that she automatically assumed that we've given up on God. And who is she to make that assumption, or think that we owe her and explanation?

For the record, if you haven't gather thus far from this site, I do believe in God (and Jesus) and am just not a fan of organized religion.

It amazes me how hypocritical the women (not all of them) at church are. This is someone who has heard stuff from her daughters, and that's just stupid gossip.

Stereotypical "Jack Mormons" leave the church after getting caught up in those high school parties I mentioned earlier, the enjoy getting drunk, getting high, and knocking up some girl, or if they are a girl - they get knocked up, or addicted to something, etc. Scott and I do not fit that stereotype at all.

One day these gossip queen's (even Scott's mom gossips about him, rather than forming a healthy relationship with him, not that she could have one because she's pretty much fucked that up for good, or at least the nest five years) will practice what they preach...or not, probably never, but despite my dislike for them, I will not go out of my way to corrupt their kids. For that they should be appreciative, not that I'd really "corrupt" them, I'd simply make them normal, you know, help them deal with being a kid, let them know that it's okay to question, that it's okay to feel all kinds of feelings, that it's alright to disagree with your parents - but your life will be so much better if you don't yell at them, learn to keep your cool - all the things that I've had to figure out on my own. God Bless them, they'll need it.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Senior "Activity"

It wasn't really a prank, so we called it an activity. Kathleen and I road her sister's tandem.

Me: Mrs. Smith, so you and your hubby used to use this?
Mrs. Smith: A couple times, we actually bought it for our daughter.
Me: ...?
Mrs. Smith: ...she didn't have any friends, we thought she'd have to find someone else to ride it with her.

Kathleen's sister apparently didn't have any friends, or so her parents thought. I'm not sure if I should feel bad or laugh at how hilarious it is that they thought a bike would help in some way.

Anyway, a lot of the Senior Class met up at Giant, on bike, scooter and rollerblades and then we rode down Old Bridge Road on them and had lots of cars/people honk at us with quizzical looks. It was awesome arriving at school this way. I wish I had pictures of the arrival, but steering a tandem is hard enough without taking pictures.

Those not involved did not appreciate it, a few of them were bitter, thought it was stupid, etc. They are lamelamelame - and obviously do not appreciate the fabulousity that is bombarding Doofy with bikes while he yells "BRAKE!" So cute. It also wasn't really a surprise a lot of faculty were waiting outside above the bus tunnel for our arrival.

Seniors '08 do it right.

Monday, April 21, 2008

I'm Alright

Today has been very stressful, mostly because I wasn't eating regularly and become very irritable when my blood sugar plummets.

I'll start with this weekend. All was wonderful.


Went bowling with Ian (Glinka - best last name ever!) He's in a bowling league and a band, badass. My parents have not met him, they haven't met the majority of my friends and aquaintances - but what young twenty-something typically hangs out with eighteen-year-olds and would just love to have a sleepover where mum and dad are upstairs and baking up brownies? This isn't just in reference to Ian, he just happens to be the most recent. Anyway, the 'rents are upset because 1) I haven't been home much lately and, 2) they don't know anyone that I do - but while we argue about them not trusting me, they obviously do, because if they didn't they would attempt to do something ridiculous, like take away my keys or something else equally stupid on their part. I am the un-punishable child and now I'm eighteen and they're still trying, so cute.

Anyway, Ian and I went bowling, he won, because like I said before, he's a badass. We went on base (military) and unfortunately it closes at eleven, so we went to some diner in Arlington. I got home at around two-thirty. We talked, a lot, I haven't had one of those types of conversations in a veryveryvery long time AND more importantly, I didn't cry. This is a huge feat. I always cry. CONGRATULATIONS IAN, YOU ARE THE FIRST OF ALL MY FRIENDS TO HAVE A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT AND NOT SEE ME TURN INTO A BLUBBERY RED MONSTER! I'm glad we were able to finally hang out, it was long overdue and I've needed a good sit down lately.


I went to work at one, and missed celebrating Sara's birthday (another one of those young twenty-somethings), lame. I also missed hanging out with her today, I'll be making it up to her soon, I'm just not when yet.

I was at work until eight, and then drove down to Richmond to catch up with April - who's birthday celebration I missed the previous Saturday. As you can see, as far as birthdays are concerned, I'm a bit behind. I'm doing my best to catch up.

April is married to Steven, the brother of Jeff, the boyfriend of Rachel, the cousin of Erin, the girlfriend of Robert. Got it? Good. Everyone listed after April grew up together, and thus April (and Me) are the outsiders/yankees/snobs/etc. It's so ridiculous. I'm just going to give you the play-by-play:

Arriaval - 10ish
they are all in the multi-purpose room (I think it's supposed to be a family room of sorts, but this house is odd) playing pool - drinking
April shows me where I can put my stuff
we go into the master bedroom and chat while the rest remain in the MPR
I show her my prom dress, she makes fun of me for getting another poof skirted dress/skirt because they aren't the most flattering on me, but they are SO FUN! AND MINE HAS POCKETS! MY PROM DRESS HAS POCKETS!
we go back to the MPR and they're moved the dart board, but haven't put the protective board behind it, and I get a dart stuck in the wall
Jeff gets upset, but I'm quick to point out that I'm not the only one who's done this because there are several other similar markings and he didn't get upset about those
April and I eat brownies and drink milk while the rest continue being lame
We (me and April) attempt at pleasant conversation with the group, but they ignore us and seem to only be able to speak to each other when we try to talk to them
We turn on SNL, Jeff scoffs at it because it isn't funny, the rest follow suite and move to the kitchen
We are left in the MPR on a gross futon watching the biggest TV I've ever seen
Erin and Robert leave, Jeff and Rachel go to bed, April gets me a clean sheet and we discuss how gross the other one was (on the futon)
Steven has been in bed for awhile, April joins him and I continue watching SNL
It goes off, I watch Sex and the City
It goes off, it's raining, thundering and lightning outside
I hear Jeff and Rachel...
I fall asleep...


April gets me up and we all go to Millie's (a really cute diner downtown)
April and I try to make friendly conversation once again
We are seated, order, etc.
April tries telling a story and I am the only one listening
We run errands, and discuss her troubles
Go back to the house and rearrange the master bedroom
I leave to have dinner in NOVA with Marco's family, except they had already had dinner by six-thirty, and I ate fruit and cheese-its

April and I are pretty close. Very different, and did not get along eight years ago. I wish that there was something more I could do for her situation. But the more I think about it, the more I see the difference between city people and small town folk. In the city, we expect there to be different people, despite cliques, everyone is intigued by the new guy, from what I've noticed small town people aren't as receptive (I'm sure Mr. Brann will have something to say about this). April had a big, close, group of friends in high school and she's still friends, or at least in touch with most of them; she still manages to meet new people and... enjoys it. I haven't had that luxury, and I've come to appreciate it. If I didn't have such a variety of friends, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I think we can all agree, I'm pretty much the shit.

*now, only because I'm anticipating some emails/comments/phone calls in regards to me hanging out with people so much older than me, I remind you to think of who I am, and the people I've been exposed to growing up - they were All, older than me, all of them, and somehow I've turned out alright, and managed to navigate DC successfully without having anyone threaten me, beat me, etc. (knock on wood) also, contrary to my mom's assumptions, I don't meet up with crazy old men, or anyone in general that I've met on the internet.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

if you haven't heard...

I just wrote a review for Brightest Young Things (BYT) and will be reviewing the Tapes n Tapes show this week for them also. I'm pretty excited.

I also can't help but compare this to Almost Famous, I mean I'm not on tour or anything, but still, I can't help but make the comparison. Is that pathetic? Probably. Wishful thinking? Definitely.

Spin had a flash of GOP in their May issue, and a page featuring The Long Blondes - whom I may be reviewing in May. I think it's a good sign, considering Spin is one of my favorite magazines.

Can you tell I'm excited? Just a little bit.

Monday, April 14, 2008

My Dad is Crazy: 2

I fell asleep in a chair watching Split Ends on the Style Network. I know, I know, I'm lame. But I would love to do that one day.

I eventually woke up and dragged myself up to my bed. This morning however wasn't quite as nice to me. Around 9:30 my neighbors kid started honking their car's horn, and when I couldn't take it anymore I got out of my very warm bed and rose to a very cold house.

My dad has turned of the heater and turned on the AC. It is 64 degrees inside. I prefer 70. I am cold, very cold, and it's not warmer outside yet. It is April, I should not have to bundle up anymore, especially inside.

Only four more months.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Nerf guns are Super.

While reading this article to my mom I stop:

me: You'd be surprised at how many college age guys have nerf guns.
mom: I love nerf guns
me: what?
mom: I want one.
(pause...still blankly starring at each other)
me: well now i know what to get you for mother's day.

My mom also has a fondness for all other Nerf products, especially the footballs that whistle.
She also likes: laser tag, playing volleyball, oatmeal-raisin-chocolate chip-cookies, Ellen DeGeneres ("even though shes's a lesbian" - in a whisper), Dr. Phil, reading articles about what is causing cancer and any other sort of ailment, alerting the general public (aka Me) of her latest discoveries, not answering her phone, answering it in the car - turning the volume all the way up - putting it on speaker - and then holding it up to her ear - and then telling the general public what that conversation was about, dancing to no music with me in the kitchen, dancing in general, watching CSI and any similar show, Law and Order SVU, HGTV, Lifetime movies (if you haven't gathered - all depressing things, in general) and eating things that "we don't need!"

Friday, April 11, 2008

My Dad is crazy: 1

My dad "hired" two guys on the street to clean the gutters for him. They're juniors and play basketball at out end of the court just about everyday.

They cleaned the gutter over our porch the other day and the one at the top of our house today.

I'm sitting inside with the windows open and can hear this dialog outside:

Dad: Hey Joseph, is there a church that your family attends regularly?
Joe: Yeah, every Sunday.
D: How would you like to attend the Church Of Jesus Christ? It's close by.
J: Oh, we're Christian. I think my parents like the church we go to.
D: But this one is just down the road, on the corner of Springwoods and Old Bridge...
J: I don't mind the one we go to either.
D: Well, why aren't you revolting? Isn't that what teenager are supposed to do.

That's when I stopped listening. ensure my eternal salvation

I need these shoes. I've wanted them for entirely too long and now they are on sale! For a whole $100 less ( down to $150)! I need to devise a plan to get them, it may require begging and doing extensive yard work. I am okay with this. I am not okay with not having these shoes.

If I'm lucky they will go down in price before prom, but because I am anything but lucky the people at JCrew will realize that there are dozens of girls out there, somewhere, just like me, waiting. And then they will be back to full price.

Whatever. The factory/distributor/? is in Lynchburg. I could go there and steal them. Or pose as a delivery-person, or convince them that they are so hideous that they need to do whatever it takes to get rid of them because they are filling valuable space on the website.

I am being ridiculous. But, seriously, as Laiene would say, these are "the shoes of my life." These are all-purpose shoes. They can be used for dancing, walking, showing off awesome calf muscles, looking classy, dressing up like Dorothy (from the book), feeling really cool, looking snazzy...there are just so many uses for them!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I Graduate in EIGHT weeks!

I should be at school right now. I should be in English, AP Literature to be more specific. And yet, here I am, at home, on my computer (my parents' computer) serfing for a laptop, writing this, listening to The Shout Out Louds, and discontent.

I should know where I'm going to school next year. Everything should be finalized. I mean I got the Hair Cuttery job, the nannying is looking good (it's pretty much done, I just need to sign something, but they need to write it up first), but VCU still hasn't responded and I haven't actually received anything from ODU, and today when I tried to log-on to ODU's "accepted" or whatever page, I couldn't.

When I called the admission office at VCU they told me that my application was late!? BY FOUR DAYS!? I believe they have something screwed up, but because I'm taking it easy today and not trying to ruin it by arguing with someone who hates their job (they would inevitably win) I said fine and asked when I should hear back, soon. Soon? How soon? Like next week? or two weeks? If I don't hear back "soon" it could be to late to respond to ODU. And while I could still go to CSU, it's pretty much out of the picture seeing as it cost money, of which I have none.

You see my dilemma.

Now, ODU isn't bad, at all. All of the housing is suite-style, meaning I won't have to freakout when someone walks in and sits in the stall next to me as I was pooping. I would risk this if I went to VCU, or really any other college for that matter, because most freshman housing sucks. While ODU isn't known for it's brilliance it certainly beats all the other school's I've been to with it's housing options. I may not be happy about going to school with multiple Michael Mann's or John Baham's - great guys, but seriously 1) Michael has been expelled, twice 2) John has told he horror stories of frat parties, and I'm not sure if I want to put myself in a place where I know that they don't care if their "brother" is dying in the backyard from alcohol poisoning.

I have yet to hear any stories like that about VCU, though Eleana does go there, and she was an advocate of "jungle juice" and while I hope she was joking, you just can't really ever tell with her. VCU has more of my type of people though, the self-proclaimed creative, intellectual types, more book stores, and more music.

ODU really wouldn't be horrible but going to my backup school because I never heard from where I wanted to go would be irritating. I don't want to go somewhere just because it's pretty much my only option. How pitiful. I may end up doing this. If I don't hear from VCU by the end of next week I'm going to ODU.

Whatever, enough of that.

I didn't feel like going to school today, and there's no way I can bring up my grades. I was going to do make-up/extra credit stuff today, but then my computer decided that Microsoft Word was for "administrator's only" and because my dad thinks that I'll watch porn if I'm an administrator he won't let me be one. You'd think he'd realize I'm eighteen, seriously, I can buy my stuff by myself, I can download it at the public library and just e-mail it to myself! Seriously DAD! I'M WATCHING PORT ALL THE TIME THAT'S WHAT I'M REALLY DOING WHEN I TELL YOU I'M GOING TO THE CITY, SCREW LIVE MUSIC! I WANT TO SEE STRANGERS GETTING BUSY! He's ridiculous.

So, I've done nothing productive today other than discover a tv/movie viewing sight, though I didn't check to see if they had any porn, I'll do that later.

I don't have any good grades for this quarter 1) because I was sick for the majority of the quarter and missed eight days of school, 2) I'm lazy and didn't do all the make-up, and 3) I don't give a flying monkey arse about grades as long as I graduate, which I will (even if my mom thinks that it's unlikely, if Autumn graduated there's no way that I won't - Autumn thinks she's a lot smarter than me though, so if she reads this she'll think something to herself along the lines of "I had better grades than Amanda does..." it may be true, but considering what they are right now, that's not hard.)

My grades are shitty. I'm going to have much better grades fourth quarter to make up for the shittiness of third quarter, seriously, I am. It'll be a "fresh start" to a stale year.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Peeing in the Dark

me: close the door when you pee, mom!
mom: well, emmy (the dog) was in here!

When I've asked my mom about this odd habit she says that it's left over from having little kids in the house. Also, she pees with the lights off, thus making it harder to realize at first that there is a person in the bathroom.

She sees nothing wrong with this.

Dear God, please deliver me from this insanity.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Paying Dues

Today was pretty good. I went to a wine tasting with everyone from work (no, I didn't have any, though Kiersty kept offering her's to me), the food was good. I like these sort of things, or think I'm going to like them, not that I didn't like this, but I find that I'm a lot quieter around groups of people where I know some and don't know some. I know Dr. D and Kathryn, and Carol (sort of, she doesn't really ever make conversation and when she does speak she whispers), but they all brought someone (Dr. D's wife, Kiersty, Carol's husband - whose name I've lost, and Kathryn's aunt, Alice?). Overall I had a good time.

I don't understand what it is with me and being able to talk to all of these people one-on-one, but when you throw them together I shut up. I suppose it's how differently I interact with all of them and the different sides of me they all know.

I'm being over-analytical. (I'm sorry, if that bothers you, but then again if it did then you wouldn't be reading this.)

Moving on. I went to an interview at the Hair Cuttery. It went well, I got the job. I'll be working two jobs, for awhile, I'm not sure how long. I kind of want to stick it out at VFCHC until the end of May, but working six days a week is going to be a lot of work and no play. I'm very playful. I'll see how it goes at the Hair Cuttery for a couple of weeks and then decide, so we'll see.

Then, when I got home from all that, I checked my email and had a message from ANOTHER family on! She left me her number and said to call, so I did, AND I'M MEETING THEM TOMORROW! This family lives in Manassas (about twenty minutes away) and has a ten-year-old son, and a seven-year-old daughter, AND provide a car while I'm on duty. The other family I've been talking to has two daughters ages twelve and nine, but they live in Vienna (about forty-five minutes away). Both would be fun, but in different ways, so we'll see.

After all that one would think that I was having a pretty good day, they would be right, except it finally hit me; I'm going to be working ALL THE TIME, LITERALLY! I suppose this is what it means to "pay your dues." I guess I thought it'd be after college, but now's the time I have to save money for college. I need to save money. A lot of it. I hate thinking about this. I wish I could just skip this part and go straight to having a decent job that pays the rent of a cute one-bedroom, one bath, apartment in the city. I have a while.

So, if you don't see me for a couple years (or four) it won't be because I died (I hope), but because I will be slaving away and remaining poor.

I suppose in the end, it will be worth it, all the shows I'm going to miss, all the nights spent in instead of out, I suppose that all adds up, in my bank account, so I can hand it over to whichever college I go to.

Paying dues, sucks.

because Ben thinks I'm mean

Just for the record, I am not a cold-hearted, mean-spirited, person. I do my best to get along with those around me. I may not like certain people, and they will know that I'm not their biggest fan, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to go out of my way to be rude and disrespectful to them. I'm very opinionated, and somewhat confrontational, and have to be in a very sour mood to be blatantly mean to someone.

Now, contrary to popular belief, I like people. I also think people are stupid, ignorant, close-minded, intelligent, open-minded, pretty, ugly, fugly, gross, delightful, engaging, insecure, "too cool", etc. I find people to be all these things. Mostly, people amuse me and sometimes bother me.

When they amuse me I laugh. When they bother me I tell them.

I've made people cry, and then I start crying because they're crying, and I'm so sorry if I've done this to you, but then I usually feel bad and apologize, but really if you're reading this and you think I'm mean, and I didn't apologize to you, well then, I must really hate you. I'm pretty sensitive to people's feelings, and expect people to be sensitive to mine. This is a mistake on my part, because I expect too much from people, especially this.