Dodge City

The more I talk to people in Richmond, the more I want to pack up my car and drive away. I don't hate Richmond. I used to, but I've come to be content here. Content is a dirty word though, it's one step up from settling. I have no intention on settling for anything because it's comfortable or easy. Richmond is comfortable, and cheap, and yeah, easy.

I left Northern Virginia for a reason. In the past few weeks I have run into more people from my home town than I do when I'm home. I'm not into it. I didn't like them there, and I certainly don't like them here.

When I talk to people that grew up here, went to college elsewhere and then came back, I just don't get it. Perhaps I'm not southern enough, or not easily satisfied, but I have no desire to stay in one place. I grew up in the same house for the first eighteen years of my life and was never the new person. Richmond hasn't been much different. People are content to stay here forever, I just can't do it.

I know people my age that live with their parents because they're saving up to buy a house, which I guess is great for them? The only purpose I see for owning property is to eventually fill it with a family, and that freaks me out. That's just where my head goes, house equates "would be happy to make babies and stay here forever." I understand that "rent is a waste of money blahblahblah..." but is it? Having a house comes with it's own problems.

I get to live in a shoebox and have people clean the foyer for me and I don't have a yard to mow or maintain, and when something breaks, I don't have to pay someone to fix it. It's a pretty sweet deal. And I can buy my way out of me lease whenever, or ride it out, and leave and not have to deal with finding tenants to rent to or someone to buy it. Ideally I'd like to move every three to four years from now until I get knocked up or resign myself to being a spinster - which, by the way, does not sound that bad.

That's another thing about Richmond. Everyone here seems to knock up or get knocked up between 27 and 34 and then they're stuck. Sure, kids are great, I like most, but when there's another parent involved you can't exactly get up and go. All of this is to say, nothing scares me more than the idea of doing exactly what I'm doing now in two to five years from now or beyond.

It's so easy. It would be so easy, but I would regret it and then drink myself into a stupor and try to convince myself that this is the life that I wanted. It's not. Not now, not ever. Complacency to me, would be giving up. I hope to always be yearing for something more.

I should eat something

Speaking of breakfast, I should eat some. Lessa mentioned that I looked like I have lost weight. And over winter break I had lost like five pounds, but I haven't weighed myself in a while, and it is possible that I may have lost more. But it has everything to do with my forgetting to ear until I start to fee light-headed. Like right now. I haven't eaten since about five yesterday evening. Saturday night I started to feel dizzy at Right 'Round and then I realized that I hadn't eaten since two that afternoon. I know you are tired of hearing me talk about my apartment, but seriously, once I get settled and have a kitchen with pots and pans and silverware, I am totally going to be that chick that makes huge meals on Sundays and then puts them in portion sized containters and eats them the rest of the week. Oh my God, I'm going to need to buy Gladware, and attempt three real meals every day.

Brett Ashley

Dating. It sucks. Mostly because V-day is like a week away and I have never had a decent one. Last year Mraco was still in Georgia and we had to wait to celebrate until he came to visit like a week later. And that still didn't turn out the way it should, or dates should - but that was just because he didn't have a car (Army) and didn't live here.

So, because I have been very frustrated with the boys in Richmond not doing things the right way, I've decided to make a list. DC boys, you did it right, and perhaps set the bar too high for these guys down here.

- I am a lady, or at least should be treated like one. I shouldn't have to ask for it. You are a boy and you should just do it, no matter our status.
- Open my door.
- Stand up when I come to and leave the table.
- Excuse yourself when you need to use your phone, whether or not you leave my presence. It's polite.
- Always offer to pay. It doesn't matter if I am dating you or not. It's called being a gentleman.
- An amendment to the above - because we are out and you are offering to pay, do no wait to pick up the bill. Pick it up immediately. Do not let me see it. But do wait for me to offer to pay my half and then insist on paying all of it. I don't mind covering the tip or treating us to dessert afterward.
- Pick me up.
- Bring me flowers. This is probably the only thing that other girls can dispute. Some people don't like flowers - those people are obviously incompetent. I love fresh flowers, all of them, except carnations and mums. Buy me those and I will never talk to your cheap ass again.
- Dance with me. At least know how to waltz. Dancedancedance. I want to dance, with you.
- Plan something, anything, a walk, take me to a park and push me on a swing, seriously, this isn't difficult.
- Though sometimes I should get giddy. I love the pre-date giddiness.
- I like to look pretty, you should too. I want to get dressed up sometimes, and I want to see you in a tie, and if you really want to impress me, wear french cuffs, with cuff links, without pleated pants.

All of this may make me seem "high maintenance" but really it's just traditional. I like my independence just as much as you do, but if you think I'm cute, time rewinds to 1926. And these things aren't all romantic, they're just common courtesy.

The love of my life

I've come to accept that I'm going to grow old, alone, and be the town's spinster who all the children's mom look at an say, "you don't want to grow up and be like her." I'm okay with this, seriously I am.

You see, I don't do relationships. This year my excuse is that it's my senior year, next year it'll be my freshman year, after that I'll be saying that "I'm still young, I've got time." And that will be me until I hit menopause and am old, grumpy, wrinkly, and wearing polyester suits that emphasize my saggy tits. OR, this is a big OR because the previous possibility is probably the most depressing thing I could imagine, but my other option is falling in love, and love isn't predictable nor does it happen when you want it to.

And so me being Amanda, I will unknowingly pass it up to pursue my plans. Or I'll be dating a guy, he'll pop the question and I "won't be ready" because it will be my first relationship lasting more than a couple months...since freshman year. I plan on having several moderately long term relationships before getting married, but unfortunately this ideal contradicts all of my excuses.

Fortunately for me I have D.C., the nation's capital, and after college when I inevitably come back here, I'll have the city that i find comfort in, that can fit all my moods, will love me in my jimjams and light my way as I walk home in last nights clothes. The upside is that in this situation I'll be working as a columnist for the Post (remember this is city Amanda, not to be confused with suburb-teaching Amanda), stay out late, go home and write about whatever it was that I did, saw, whatever. OR I could be lobbyist, this could work out very well. All these different things though, this is the beauty of the District, absolutely anything is possible.

Nownow, one might presume that everything is possible everywhere, this isn't true. You see the Post is in D.C. and I really can't think of anything else I'd like to write for except maybe a music mag, like Magnet, Spin, AP, or a news mag, Newsweek, Time, or of course a girlie mag, Cosmo, Elle, Glamour (where i'd write about dirty things and fashion, AHA! not really though, I'm not that shallow). But the Post is my first choice. And then of course lobbyists, they don't hang out in downtown Denver, or Phoenix, they may travel there, but it's all centered here. (nt. i would never have near the interest in politics that I do if I hadn't been raised here) We can't forget the music scene, sure it's not L.A., Portland, or NYC, but it's decent, and I love it, and all the kids doing they're thing who've lived here their whole lives.

I love those kids, but I don't want to be one of them. They're all stayed here, I want to take a break and come back. That's how true love is, I think. One knows their true love, but leaves them for better situations only to come back, right? or have I just watched to many romantic flicks? Probably both.