Baking Slut

A few weeks ago I was asked to fill out a survey for Hipster Wife Hunting, a blog out of New York that my friend Jessica contributes to. I am pin-up #37. And the last sentence in my self-description should read "I'm really goofy."

My sister April doesn't read my blog, and probably won't read my hipster wife description, but if she did she make note of my comment in regards to baking. You see, she thinks that I'm a "baking slut" because I "give it away for free" because apparently it isn't appropriate to bake things for boys before they "take you on and pay for three dates." She is full of all kind of wisdom like this. But my baking sluttiness is something more, it's a direct result of my "inner Mormon" - you see this is something that we all suffer from. We spent years baking things for people who were, like we are now, inactive members of the church in an effort to them how much we cared for and miss them. I know that this is complete horseshit though. I was always confused about why I would bother putting so much effort into something where we would inevitably be considered very strange by whomever we were delivering these baked goods too.

Imagine for a moment taking someone a plate of cookies that has not been to church, or whatever organization, in years. Then seeing them at school. You don't say anything because you don't know them. You just happened to see them the evening before because you and a group of other young girls have been encouraged to make her feel welcome, like a part of this group that she is not interested in being a part of, by giving her baked goods.

Then there were all those times when we baked for the missionaries, and the boys our age who were busy whittling or building a fire or learning about the importance of having gainful employment as to support your wife and 2984793 kids one day. We, the girls were practicing for the roles we would one day have as mothers - baking cookies for every occasion.

As teenagers, and then in college, Mormon girls will commonly bake things for the object of their affection. And he, unless he likes her back, will think she's insane. BAKING! FOR SOMEONE SHE HARDLY KNOWS! (Save for that one awkward dance together at the church sponsored dance a month ago.) Okay, I'm generalizing, but there are chicks that do this. I knew one who knitted a boy a scarf, it was really wide and not very long and I never saw him wear it. Nor did I ever see them interact. But it was fine, she moved on and was making stuff for someone else in the following weeks.

I don't typically just bake people stuff. I do enjoy baking and cooking, but I usually save the baking for thank-yous and birthdays. So, even if I did get three dinners paid for, there's still no guarantee. The term baking slut only came into play this summer because I knew so many people with birthdays during a couple of weeks and I made all of them a cake - and most of them happened to be dudes, and apparently it doesn't matter because baking a cake for a male friend somehow sends the wrong message? I disagree.

Sometimes, I even invite friends over and make dinner. And then we discuss the rationale behind the way all these people in our lives think. And sometimes, I even send friends home with leftovers.

Slut? Yeah, that's right.