Playing House

I was talking to my friend Mark recently and he asked me about my dating situation. This is always (never) a fun question. I'm always "seeing" someone, and then I get bored and then we have The Conversation. This usually comes after they feel like I've really let them in, like they could really get to know me - but that's not true! I'm just an oversharer!

I don't like sleeping (and I do mean sleeping) with people that I'm not into, I don't like cuddling. Your body's warmth is making me hot, and I'm totally fine over here.

Remember, I like making out with strangers and then never talking to them again. The whole relationship thing leads to The Crazy (also found here and here) and finding someone worth risking that for is uncommon. I have an alternative to all of this I like to refer to as Playing House.

It includes all the benefits of a relationship,without any of the consequences because you don't spend enough time together to actually develop real feelings. It only lasts a couple days, or a long weekend, sporadically throughout the year. These "relationships" can be wherever with whomever, but they cannot happen with someone that lives in your city. My favorites of these have includes, The Annapolis Lover, The Russian and West Coast Paul.

You go out as though you are a couple, you might even hold hands. You have breakfast, you go shopping, you discuss things as though you are in a committed relationship, but you're not. You or him, get to go home, back to your single life where you can have the whole bed to yourself and not be irritated by anyone's inability to squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube or leave dirty dishes on the counter (really dudes, why are these things so hard?).

This may sound slightly screwy to some of you, but you probably haven't tried it, or are one of those really obnoxious people that are always in relationships. I would like to spend this decade of my life moving frequently and without reason to stay in any one place, for me, this works.

Best of Richmond, in my humble opinion...

Style Weekly put out their "Best of Richmond" issue last week. I don't think there was a single category that I agreed with. Nevermind that it was their "biggest reader survey" ever, it was out of touch or maybe the majority of their readers don't live within the city limits of Richmond. The "Richmond Metro Area" is not Richmond. Much like the "DC Metro Area" is not DC. And, if it's not apparent from everything I have ever posted ever, I hate the suburbs. I may be a product of the Northern Virginia sprawl, but I in no way endorse it - meaning, I could not care less about the opinions of non-city dwellers regarding the "best of" anything within city limits.

I also think that there were far too many categories, so I've made my own list based on me spending way too much money and going out way too much.


Best Venue: Alley Katz
This is based solely on the space and not on the names the venue attracts. It's big enough, but maintains an intimate feel. The staff is friendly, the drinks are cheap and the soundsystem is great.


Best Sushi: Akida
Sure, they don't have tater tots, but those aren't Japanese, so why would they? For someone looking for authentic sushi and sashimi, this is the place to go. The space is small, rarely loud and great for a first date or taking a friend from out of town.


Best Cafe/Coffeeshop/Place to use the internet for free: Lamplighter
It's not just for hipsters, it's become the neighborhood hangout. I cannot go there without running into at least three people I know, and like. They have never once messed up my order, and everything I've tried on the menu is delicious and reasonably priced. The vegan and vegetarian options make this place great for everyone. The staff is friendly and patient, even during their busiest hours. Though, I recommend ordering ahead if you want a TLT&A during their lunch rush. They cook in order the orders are placed, and it'll be ready when you get there.


Best Museum: The Children's Museum
Sure, the VMFA has the Picasso exhibit, but have you ever taken your small relative to the Children's Museum? I have just as much fun as they do pretending to drive the ambulance, digging for dinosaur bones and making crafts. (Related: I am a huge dork.) I've never tried to go without a small relative, that probably wouldn't be welcomed by museum staff or parents, but it would still be fun. My nephew's favorite exhibit is the Newsroom.


Best Place for Karaoke: New York Deli
The crowd is different every week, and spands well  beyond the regulars. The talent is unexpected and those performing are unassuming. I don't love the DJ, I think he talks too much and has terrible hair, but that's neither here nor there. (But seriously, dude, you should cut that ponytail off.)


Best Brunch: Lulu's
Have you had the Red Velvet Waffle? No? You are missing out. Though, perhaps you prefer a savory brunch over a sweet one, in which case their menu is perfect for you. Omlettes, fritattas, meat, it's all there. I like to go with a friend and split the RVW and the Greek fritatta. Though, it fills up fast, so go with a small group or with a couple people and sit at the bar.


Best Restaurant: Water Grill
I like seafood and I like patios and I reallyreally like seafood. Nevermind the great service or ambiance or it being conveniently located down the street from Bev's and The Byrd, get me some scallops!


Best Bar: Ehhh, this is a toss up. I can't decide between Bamboo or The Whisky.

Bamboo: It's always full of townies and the food is fairly high-end for a bar. For late night snacking I like to get the fried eggplant appetizer. I also like that all the staff has a constant smirk on their faces.

The Whisky: They serve their entire menu until last call. All of it. And from open to 3 pm, they offer a 25% discount to anyone who lives or works in The Fan and on rainy days ask for the "rainy day discount." They offer plenty of vegetarian and gluten free options. Don't ask for your regular drink, tell the bartender what you like and have them recommend something new - you will like it, promise. Try the green bean fries.

Best Place for Finding single men with jobs and cars for your friends who don't go out much: The Rebublic
Seriously, it works. Every single time.


Sure, there are other places to go, but most other categories seem irrelevant as Richmond isn't large enough to really support multiples of things. And besides all be do is go to shows, karaoke and drink anyway.

GROSS!

A couple days ago I noticed a weird red spot on my back. It was slightly itchy, so I figured it was just a bug bite. Then it started to hurt yesterday and I thought it was a pimple so I kept putting acne goo on it. Then I made the mistake of asking my mom to look at it last night when I was home and she spent about ten mintues poking and proding it and I kept fidgeting - it was terrible. I get queasy over most things that have to do with my body.

So, I mentioned it to my sister this morning and then she looked at it. Freaked out and told me to go see a doctor, just to make sure it wasn't a staph infection. I spent the following twenty minutes looking at pictures of staph infections (you're welcome!).

"Are you sure you're going to be okay at the doctor's alone?" My sister has no faith in me. "Because you know, they lance it and then they squeeze it and rub a cotton swab in there..."

"Amanda, I'm happy to go with you... you really don't handle these things very well." My mom doesn't have any faith in me either.

I didn't have an appointment and they weren't able to see me, so I went to the emergency room at Fort Belvoir (because my dad's a retired Marine and I'm still on their insurance). There, a doctor did exactly what my mom did, but with needles. And I didn't scream. Or cry.

"I don't think it's staph, yet, it's probably just a boil, but we're gonna treat it for MRSA anyway." That's cool, I guess. "It still might get worse, but just see your primary physician if it does, but it's probably not a big deal."

Yep. Totally not a big deal. Or it could be. I'm not gonna worry about it.

Savannah: The Abridged Version

I started writing a post that detailed all the stupid that happened surrounding the trip to Savannah, and then I decided that that was a waste of time. So, here's the abridged version. One friend had terrible allergies, as did everyone else in Savannah, and the other got a terrible sunburn.

On the drive down: Not everyone is going to like all of the music played on this car ride, so you need to chill the fuck out.

Post-Arrival: Complaining to me is not going to improve service at this shitty restaurant.

Day Two: You not bringing a swimsuit, towel, or sunblock is not my fault. Neither is your sunburn. And pointing out every fat person in a stupid t-shirt is unnecessary, as is moaning in pain regarding your burn. Suck it up.

Day Three: You're probably not going to want to walk around in the heat with that burn...can we go get me more allergy medicine?

Day Four, post-drive back: Did I offend your friend? She seems really annoyed with me.

This was at dinner after a bottle of cocktail sauce exploded. I smelled delicious.

And the good, because despite all the stupid, I did have a great time.

Day One: We stayed about two blocks from the beach on Tybee Island, about fifteen miles outside of Savannah. This was fantastic. I could not have been happier with where we stayed. After dinner we were able to hang out with my friend Sam. Savannah is incredible at night, my introduction to the "to-go" cup was probably my new most favorite thing. The ability to just pour your adult beverage into a plastic cup and leave is great. If you've been there, you probably already know this, or if you aren't a drinker, I guess you can't really appreciate it, but it's so convenient. We went to several bars that were loud, and relatively dancey before I asked him why he kept taking us to these places and he goes, "because that's what girls like, or at least girls here." But we weren't really looking for that atmosphere so he took us somewhere more low-key.

After the bars had closed we walked down to the river and up to a couple of haunted houses. I have no idea what neighborhood I was in, but Sam kept telling us about how haunted Savannah is, which I knew, but I scare easy and the entire city is a graveyard and I was freaked out. I was very happy to get back to the hotel that evening.

Day Two: This was the beach day. We encountered jellyfish, and thankfully none of us were stung (that would have been a fiasco). I parted ways after the previously mentioned debaucle to calm myself down and went to the lighthouse and museum on the island. I am really afraid of heights, but I have this stupid thing where I feel the need to conquer my fears all the time, so I walked to the top of the lighthouse (this took a lot longer than it should have) and while the view was gorgeous, I was quick to collect my breath and head  for solid ground. The history of Tybee Island was interesting as well, apparently there's an active atomic bomb somewhere off the coast that's been there since WWII and during the colonial era, it was a haven for pirates.

That night I went out with Sam by myself. It was Sunday and downtown was mostly desolate, which was nice for us. It's strange, we've known each other since high school because of a mutual friend, but he and I didn't really become friends until we both moved away from Northern Virginia.

Day Three: This can be summed up quickly - Paula Deen's Lady and Sons is as delicious as you would hope it to be. I highly recommend going for lunch and asking to sit in the bar on the top floor, you won't have to wait and the service was fantastic. This was followed by spending too much money on cute things, all of which I have used, eaten or worn, except for this gun shaped ice tray, this I gave to my brother-in-law, and he uses it every day.

That evening we got the car packed up so that leaving the next morning would be a snap. It was, and the drive back was much more pleasant and faster than the drive down.


They say you don't really know someone until you travel or live with them, that's mostly true. I consider myself a fairly cynical, sarcastic person, but I also like to have a good time, and when in Rome, or Savannah, or Tybee Island, do as the locals do. Thankfully, people and cities aren't all the same, and I'm curious enough to be patient with what I don't like to make room for and anticipate the things that I will like.

Savannah: The Prologue

A couple months ago my friend, E, suggested that we go to Savannah, Georgia because she was born in Georgia and wanted to go back one more time before she goes abroad for grad school - because she has no intention (mostly) of ever coming back to the United States. I'm down for most things, so I agreed to go. Her summer plans are still up in the air, she doesn't know where she'll be interning yet, so we decided it had to be in April. We went this past Saturday and got back on Tuesday.

My friend, K, lives with a bunch of my friends in DC. She's from the Pacific Northwest and had never been south of Richmond before this trip. I don't think she was fully aware of what she was getting herself into.

Jesus Waffles

I grew up in Norhtern Virginia, but I spent all of my childhood family vacations visiting family members. My mom's family is from East North Carolina, she grew up specifically in Kinston (it's off 41, close to Goldsboro, yeah...). My dad was born in Memphis and grew up between there and Phoenix. We're Southern. I have been to pig pickings. I can drop "y'all" without noticing. I am fine walking around in jorts without shoes on. There is a part of me that is instinctually Southern. I can't shake it. I used to hate it, but I know my family's history, and there's a lot to be embarassed about, but I understand it, and I can't change it, so I accept it and love it anyway.

I've also written about Fat People here before. And I enjoy making fun of people as much as everyone else, or maybe more than most, but I am unphased by the South. I have seen Confederate flags worn and displayed unironically, proudly. I know that there are still people that refer to the Civil War as the War Between the States, and that those people don't think that race had anything to do with it, it was, to them, a Big Government infringing upon states' rights. My personal opinons aside, I get it.

People are fat, and sometimes people wear shirts with Tweety Bird on them, or relatively offensive racial or sexist slurs, or something five sizes too small - that's a typical Southern beach town. All of that aside, they just don't care. No one can accuse them of being uptight, they're happy with who they are and they own it.