Friday, September 12, 2008

I think you're Fat

Today at lunch Garrett and I started talking about this past weekend and the rediculousness that ensued (that was his ex that we ran into). And then of course we talked about Richmond and I gave him yet more reasons as to why it sucks, today it was mostly the overabundance of Fat People.

"Do you hate fat people?" (Isn't Garrett cute?) Of course I hate Fat People. They take up too much space. They are often angry and overall unpleasant.
Now, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Do not confuse Fat People with being overweight. Being overweight describes most people at some point in their lives. I have plenty of friends that are overweight, I am probably a little bit (but losing weight could cause damage, i.e. the loss of my wonderful breasts and ass. You've seen them, they are amazing! I believe that if I were to ever lose them it would be detrimental to society.) but my friends and I aren't fat. Not at all.
Fat people are typically obese, dress horribly (they wear sweatpants from Wal-Mart and oversized t-shirts with some cartoon on them, you know what I'm saying) and are overall painful to be with. The later is the most important. Fat People just do not understand how to get along with other people.

There are some Fat People that dress well, you may even mistake them for an overweight person. Do not let this throw you off. Stay on track. Their fatness will soon manifest itself as soon as they open their mouths. For example, I was at the Ting-Tings show this summer and there were these two fat girls in front of me. They were not dancing, they were not having a good time, they were complaining about all the people (at a sold-out show), they were upset that people were touching them, and the were especially upset when me and Zak (intern) shoved past them to the front. Now, I could go on a rant about how annoying it is when people in front don't dance, but that's another post. These girls tried to tell us that they were there first, blahblahblah... They were dressed well, but were breaking all club-show rules. They suck, right? Exactly! Character flaw.

Well what about those that can't help being overweight? I already explained this by differinciating between Overweight People and Fat People. Now, if you are a fat person and have health issues, well, I just don't have any sympathy. Like people with Diabetes. Man, that sucks, but were they taking care of themselves before they were diagnosed? Did they eat healthy food and excercise? Or did they sit on the couch and eat Doritos while watching Lifetime?
If it's the former then I can sympathize. I certianly don't have bean-pole-body, or a high metabolism. In fact I have a thyroid disorder that's under control, but if I didn't take care of myself I would certainly gain weight, and that could lead to Diabetes and Heart Disese, both of which run in my family.

If it's the later, well then they deserve it. Nothing good comes from Doritos, they just make me bloated. And even less good comes from Lifetime;I swear that channel was developed for overweight women just to turn them into vapid Fat People by encouraging them to relate to depressing stories.

*Mom, I'm talking to you! Watch it, I mean, don't watch Lifetime, I know you do!

Last year Trevor and I agreed that Fat People shouldn't be allowed to wear athletic shorts and sweatshirts.Isn't it ironic that they can be cuaght in athletic gear when they never take part in physical activities? And isn't it a shame that that's one of the few things that fits them?

In other news, my Focused Inquiry teacher wants to meet me before class on Monday to discuss something that will take about twnety minutes. He wouldn't say what. I'm pretty sure that it's going to be about my negative attitude in his class, or the questionaire that we had to fill out at the beginning of the class, on which I encouraged him to stop parting his hair down the middle and to grow some facial hair. He is one of those people that is happy all the time, in a creepy way; like my eighth grade french teacher Mme. Rustan who smiled all the time except for the times she would look down to relax her mouth before continuing what she was saying with a smile. She didn't like me either, expecially when I wrote "busy work" in the heading of my paper where the name of the assignment was supposed to go (it was on a day we had a sub). I had to show my parents and get it signed and she gave the entire class a lecture about busy work and how if you were to use that term you had better have an A - I did not have an A. My FI teacher and I have a similar repoire. This year will be interesting, to say the least. Who knows, maybe we'll be best friends by the end of the year. Probably not, but he will probably say something about how he wants to be my friend on Monday. Oh, dear.


Christina said...

repoire??? do you mean ... rapport?

my parents probably doubt that there is anyone more adamantly opinionated than me. but they don't know you like I know you, or how the blogosphere knows you, I guess.

amanda-rants said...

at least i spelled it phonetically correctly.

hahaha, i think you're parents are aware of my opinions, especially your dad.

just wait until the world knows me. hehehehehe...