Thursday, October 9, 2008

if i have to

Penny's is my favorite part of Richmond. That, and my bike. Isn't that sad?

Today I went with a couple of other guys from the radio station to Bagel Czar. It used to be a venue called Nancy Raygun, and they're trying to maintain it as a venue. WVCW, the radio station, is working with them to book some gigs and promote it as much as possible. And after talking with Landis, the guy in charge of booking at Bagel Czar, I got to thinking about how perfect it would be if I could do that all the time. I could be an agent, manager, publicist, whatever, I think I might be alright at it. But then again, I don't know if I'd really fit into that world.

I'm not really sure if writer's are supposed to fit into any sort of world. I've been think about that a lot lately. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Salinger is a recluse. He could be dead, and we probably wouldn't know about it for a year. He has an estranged daughter, I hope if I have children that that won't happen. I will live in the city and when I die my neighbors will at least complain about the smell. And hopefully my kids will like me, even if they think I'm a kook.

But really, I know writers, and I guess they have friends, but if they're at all serious about they're craft they don't keep hours that allow them to socialize the way other people do. We don't sleep when we write, and sometimes passion overtakes us and hours go by and it's dawn. Writers like that are hard to find. And they're even harder to know.

I think being lonely is an important part of writing. It feeds any feelings you might have, and it allows for little distraction. If I end up a spinster I think I'll be okay, so long as it's in a city and I can write about my lonely life and all the grownup boys that may have been part of it.

Or, I could just give up on all the writin bullshit and be equally troubled pretending that I don't know what I'm meant to do with my life. Unfortunately that's not an option. I have to write, and I'm going to be poor, and I'll probably always feel lonely, but I suppose it's better than feeling nothing at all.


Christina said...

you can't be totally lonely because you'll always have me! our friendship is the most improbable thing that ever happened to us, don't you think? i'm glad we found each other and know each other. well, i guess we weren't writers at the time, but whatever.

Ben said...

I think a lot of writers are as you say, but I think a lot are also a lot more normal. I've read interviews with a few different authors that write as if it was any other job. They get up in the morning, write for 8 hours, and then 'clock out.'

You were the person who borrowed our Salinger bio, right? Did you read it?

amanda-rants said...

I read part of it, i never got through it all.