I am an indignant, self-righteous, hypocritic, self-indulgent, know-it-all, snobby bitch. I know this. And so do you. But if you're reading this, and you've met me, you also know that I am capable of being sweet, kind, compassionate, etc. And if you've known me for more than a week, you know that I am the biggest slacker of all time.
My sixth grade science teacher was the first to call me a slacker when I started turning things in late. Since then I have been called a slacker by just about every teacher that I developed a personal relationship with, so every English teacher and about half of the others. I don't know exactly what happened, but as much as I enjoy learning, I just can't seem to fake interest in things that are "required." You will notice that I was not interested in most of high school if you were to look at my transcript.
This semester I am on "academic warning", it's pre-academic probation and it means that I didn't do shit last semester. As a result I have to attend required tutoring, meet weekly with my advisor and all sorts of fun things like that. This surpises people. I'm not sure why, I mean, I like to read, but I don't think anyone except for maybe my roommate that one time has seen me touch a textbook, let alone open it. And if it wasn't at all evident in my older posts (see September/October 2008) that I was manically depressed last semester, I was, and it was awful.
I'm better now - ish. And today I got my first essay of the semster back and I got an A. Thank you very much.
It seems that I am capable of exerting some potential in areas that do not particularly interest me and because I know what's good fore me, I'll continue to do so - and be very bitter and tired while doing it.